The Best Reader + TIME

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love — Nancy Dreyfus


"We've all been there. A conversation with a loved one escalates into conflict. Voices rise to a fever pitch and angry, accusative words fly through the air. At times like these, it seems impossible to find the magic words that will lead to healing. Enter Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love.

A psychotherapist with decades of experience in counseling couples, Nancy Dreyfus hit upon the revolutionary practice outlined in this book during a couples-therapy session in which a wife's unrelenting criticism of her husband was causing him to become emotionally withdrawn. In the midst of this, Dreyfus found herself scribbling on a scrap of paper, "Talk to me like I'm someone you love" and gestured to the husband that he should hold it up. He did and within seconds the familiar power differential between the two shifted, and a gentler, more genuine connection emerged. Dreyfus was startled, then intrigued, and then motivated to create a tool that could help others.

This elegantly packaged spiral-bound book features more than one hundred of Dreyfus's "flash cards for real life"-written statements that express what we wish we could communicate to the person we love, but either can't find the right words or the right tone in which to say it. The statements include:

*Taking responsibility: "I realize I'm overreacting. Can you give me a minute to get sane again?"

*Apologizing: "I know I've really hurt you. What can I do to help you trust me again?"

*Loving: "You are precious, and I get that I haven't been treating you like you are."

A one-of-a-kind, practical relationship tool, Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love will help couples to stop arguing and begin healing."

I was very excited to receive this book — not because I'm drowning in my relationship, but because the book sounded like a great tool to use when (or if) my relationship ever needs a "pick me up." I like how this book was set up with the different categories and the easy quotes on the left side of the page. When reading the fictitious stories it made me realize how lucky I am and how much I probably don't appreciate "the boy" enough. I also feel that this book holds some great communicating tools for couples.

Would I ever bring out this book and actually use it?

Many of the questions were worded "funny" and a little too "corny," in my opinion, to actually be used word for word. But I think that this book provides a good start for couples who struggle with communication. Be prepared; this book is kind of a "downer" until the last third of the book. I guess I should have saw that coming, but all the "I'm sorry"s and "I know your upset, but"s really kind of ruined my mood.

Overall, I think this book is a good, healthy tool for couples who help constructively communicating with each other or if someone feels misunderstood or ignored.

Originality: 10/10
Ending: NA
Characters: NA
Plot: NA
My reaction/enjoyment: 5/10
Theme: 8/10
Imagery: 8/10
Setting: NA
Voice: 5/5
Style: 5/5
Tone: 5/5
Cover: 8/10
Overall: 54/65 B

To the FTC, with love: Review Book

book, LIFE, review, and more:

Talk to Me Like I'm Someone You Love — Nancy Dreyfus + TIME