1. What made you decide to share a story involving relationship abuse?
I had a pretty tough relationship when I was 17 years old that was *NOT* physically abusive but was pretty hard to go through. I really wanted to channel the same emotional truth of that situation into a book, and BUT I LOVE HIM is the result.
2. What do you think teens should know in order to stay safe in a relationship?
Oh, tough. You know, I think its just that you should never give up yourself for someone else. Hang onto your friends, your hobies, your family. A boyfriend (or girlfriend!) should be one part of a full life, not the only part of it.
3. Are there any resources for teens that you would recommend? (websites, phone numbers, groups, etc.)
I'm really impressed by the group that runs loveisrespect.org
4. What do you hope teenagers take from reading BUT I LOVE HIM?
You know, this is tough, because I wrote it for a lot of reasons. For one, I wanted to illustrate that abusive relationships are rarely black and white. It's not as if some perfectly normal guy just has"an anger problem" and is a real villain. Connor, in BUT I LOVE HIM, has some very deeply rooted issues far beyond anger. Secondly, I wanted to help people understand why a girl stays when, from the outside, it seems so wrong. And yet, at the same time, I wanted a reader to walk away realizing that it didn't matter what she did, how much she wanted to help him-- he was going to continue to hurt her. I guess I wanted a reader to walk away understanding that"sticking it out" isn't going to do anyone a service. It's just going to continue the abusive cycle.
5. BUT I LOVE HIM is told in reverse chronological order. Can you tell me why you wrote it this way?
Mainly, it was because I feel that readers (and people in real life) do place a judgement upon victims of domestic violence for"choosing" to stay. There's always that voice that says,"I'd never let a guy do that to me" or"I'd drop him so fast… " And when they read a book in normal chronological order, they pick that moment where they think they would have left (often the first hard insult, hit, etc). By reversing the story, the reader doesn't have that ability. They have to just sit back and read.
But I Love Him by Amanda Grace (Mandy Hubbard) Publisher: Flux (May 8th, 2011) Reading Level: Young Adult Paperback: 264 pages Tonight was so much worse than anything before it. Tonight he didn't stop after the first slap.
At the beginning of senior year, Ann was a smiling, straight-A student and track star with friends and a future. Then she met a haunted young man named Connor. Only she can heal his emotional scars; only he could make her feel so loved — and needed. Ann can't recall the pivotal moment it all changed, when she surrendered everything to be with him, but by graduation, her life has become a dangerous high wire act. Just one mistake could trigger Connor's rage, a senseless storm of cruel words and violence damaging everything — and everyone — in its path.
This evocative slideshow of flashbacks reveals a heartbreaking story of love gone terribly wrong.
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