Poughkeepsie by Debra Anastasia Publisher: Omnific Publishing (November 22nd, 2011) Adult: 17+ Paperback: 384 pages Source: Author/Publisher Rating: 4 of 5 stars He counts her smiles every day and night at the train station. And morning and evening, the beautiful commuter acknowledges him—just like she does everyone else on the platform. But Blake Hartt is not like the others.. he’s homeless. Memories of a broken childhood have robbed him of peace and twisted delusions into his soul. He stays secluded from the sun, sure the world would run from him in the harsh light of day.
Each day, Livia McHugh smiles politely and acknowledges her fellow commuters as she waits for the train to the city. She dismisses this kindness as nothing special, just like her. She’s the same as a million other girls—certainly no one to be cherished. But special or not, she smiles every day, never imagining that someone would rely on the simple gesture as if it were air to breathe.
When the moment comes that Livia must do more than smile, without hesitation she steps into the fray to defend the homeless man. And she's surprised to discover an inexplicable connection with her new friend. After danger subsides, their smiles become conversation. Their words usher in a friendship, which awakens something in each of them. But it’s not long before their bond must prove its strength. Entanglements from the past challenge both their love and their lives.
Blake’s heart beats for Livia’s, even if her hands have to keep its rhythm. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. Love never fails, right? Review: First, I'll say that this is, for sure, an adult novel! It is very raw, emotional, and heartbreaking in so many ways. I wasn't sure what to expect with this book but wow, I was blown away. Honestly, I think it could have easily been 3 different books. It was very complex with a ton of amazing characters and plot-lines going on at once.
I assumed from the summary that this book was mostly about Blake and Livia — I was wrong. It was so much more than that. Blake and Livia are only 1/10th of what's in this story. Poughkeepsie does start with the focus on Blake and Livia. Livia is so kind-hearted and she tries to care for Blake (who is homeless) in any way that he will let her. Their connection was simple but deep.
Through their relationship, we are introduced to several other main characters and that is when the story goes in a bunch of different directions. My favorite character was Beckett. Beckett is Blake's brother (through adoption) and he is incredibly protective. He is not the most moral person in the world but he does what he feels necessary in order to protect the people around him. He is dangerous, intimidating, and hot!
Although we meet a ton of characters in this story, I was easily able to keep up. Each character and POV held my attention. They were not"throw away" people that you forget about after the book is finished. I still remember each one and loved what they brought to the story.
My only tiny complaint with this book was just that I think it may have been better as a series. I wanted MORE. Maybe each brother should have had their own book? Mostly just so it could have been more drawn out and developed. Poughkeepsie is non-stop action and drama but maybe having a few books could have let each relationship shine a little more on their own.
Poughkeepsie is emotional and realistic. Each character has had their own struggles and they turned into their own version of a family. I highly enjoyed reading this story and I can't wait to read more from Debra Anastasia!
Recommended: ADULTS looking for a fabulous contemporary novel with a lot of grit and honesty.
Debra Anastasia is here today to talk about her adult title, Poughkeepsie. I've read this book and I just gotta say… WOW! It's incredible!
Debra has been kind enough to offer up a great giveaway (sign up below) for US and International readers.
Poughkeepsiehas a very emotional plot. Can you tell us what inspired this story and the main characters? The plot was very organic. Actually, I originally thought the whole story would take place on the train station platform. So it would have been centered on only the two lead characters. But when Blake takes Livia into his world, I knew we would meet some interesting people. Beckett was a scariest to write, I never knew what he was going to say next. Interestingly, the thought of a homeless hero harkened back to a trip to New York City with friends when I was a teenager. A homeless man approached us and asked for money for lunch. We walked past ignoring the beggar, as we were taught to do by our parents. I put my hand in my pocket and realized I had five dollars. I turned around and ran back and handed him the money. He looked up and smiled so big, it put tears in my eyes. When I got back to my group of friends they teased me for the rest of the day, but there was a connection when he had smiled at me. That gentleman made me realize that he was not something to avoid, but a person. So when writing a story about an impossible love, I remembered him and thought about that connection. Did you have any images in mind when you were creating Blake and Livia or did you just start writing?
I’m very visual when I write, so when I began writing about the train station, I picked the pretty one that is close to my in-laws. It’s the Rhinecliff station near Rhinebeck, New York. But when I thought about Livia’s commute, the commuter train doesn’t come all the way to Rhinecliff from the city – its last stop is Poughkeepsie. I was very relived when we drove by the Poughkeepsie station and I remembered how gorgeous it was.
The tattoo the three main boys have became a real symbol for their brotherly connection. I have two designs, one by Steve Zap and the other by Shannon Lumetta. I loved the tattoo so I was thrilled when it was placed on the cover of Poughkeepsie. Four readers have actually gotten the tattoo on their real bodies! I’m going to have to do something really special for them. I guess I’ll have to get it too as soon as I find my courage. One of the things I did for fun was have the tattoos made into temporary tats. So I’ve worn both designs, technically. I toss a few in as swag for anyone that gets their book or bookplate signed. (There are a few tats in this giveaway!)
The other huge symbol for me is the Cardboard Piano that Blake carries with him. I loved how a simple piece of cardboard could mean so much. When I was preparing to make the trailer, (with tremendous help from my author friend Carol Oates) I looked for pictures of a keyboard drawn on cardboard everywhere on the Internet with no luck. Then I decided to stinking make it myself. My husband drew the keys on and we took it to the train station for some pictures. Now, the piano is on a world tour! Readers are sending it to one another and taking pictures. It’s adorable and really fun.
So as far as actors in my head, I pictured Jonas Armstrong as Blake Hartt (the music clef in the tattoo). I fell for him in the BBC version of Robin Hood. He’s got a great, deep smolder:
For Cole Bridge (the cross), my tortured, would-be priest, I found Jesse Williams was a perfect fit. His eyes look endless and deep, just like Cole.
And for Beckett Taylor (the knife), the big ol’ pimp, I’ve got Daniel Conn picked out. Actually, he’s not an actor but a rugby player. Half of the images on Google have him with a bloody face, so he’s even more perfect. I would have never found him if it wasn’t for my friend Jess at Book Passion for Life! She showed me a picture and I was sold. Bookaholic ETA:"HOLY CRAP. He's hot!" Can you share with us a few of your favorite lines from the book?
Sure! I’ll find some clean ones for you. “When you saw me? You saw me. And then you smiled at me like I was the same as everyone else on that platform.” (From Blake) “It was like he’d just discovered fire, and she was the main ingredient.” (From Cole)
“Blake took her face in his hands. “You let me touch you. Kiss you. Your skin? It feels like piano keys. My hands know just where to go.” (Blake again)
“You make the rest of the beautiful things in the world cry for even trying at all. You make it hard for me to breathe.” (awww, from Blake) Beckett’s quotes are too dirty for primetime, but he has some great one-liners. Are you currently working on any other books we can look forward to seeing? Yes! I’m currently writing my first book’s (Crushed Seraphim) sequel. Then I have a few I’d really love to get to. I have a superhero story and a hotel romance banging around in my head. I’ve had a few requests for a Poughkeepsie sequel, so I’m hashing out a plot for that one as well. Thank you so much Jessica for having Poughkeepsie and I on your blog!
Poughkeepsie by Debra Anastasia Publisher: Omnific Publishing (November 22nd, 2011) Adult: 17+ Paperback: 384 pages He counts her smiles every day and night at the train station. And morning and evening, the beautiful commuter acknowledges him—just like she does everyone else on the platform. But Blake Hartt is not like the others.. he’s homeless. Memories of a broken childhood have robbed him of peace and twisted delusions into his soul. He stays secluded from the sun, sure the world would run from him in the harsh light of day.
Each day, Livia McHugh smiles politely and acknowledges her fellow commuters as she waits for the train to the city. She dismisses this kindness as nothing special, just like her. She’s the same as a million other girls—certainly no one to be cherished. But special or not, she smiles every day, never imagining that someone would rely on the simple gesture as if it were air to breathe.
When the moment comes that Livia must do more than smile, without hesitation she steps into the fray to defend the homeless man. And she's surprised to discover an inexplicable connection with her new friend. After danger subsides, their smiles become conversation. Their words usher in a friendship, which awakens something in each of them. But it’s not long before their bond must prove its strength. Entanglements from the past challenge both their love and their lives.
Blake’s heart beats for Livia’s, even if her hands have to keep its rhythm. Love is patient. Love is kind. Love never fails. Love never fails, right?
Prize:
1 US winner will receivea copy of Poughkeepsie, 2 temp. tattoos, a train schedule, and a bracelet!
2 INTERNATIONAL winners will receive the ebook copy.
Rules:
You must be at least 17 to enter.
Name and email must be provided and counts as 1 entry.
Extra entries are possible and links must be provided.
Contest is US/International and ends March 5th.
Once contacted, the winner will have 48 hours to respond.
Cherie Colyer is here today to talk about her debut novel Embrace. This is a book that I am super excited to read and 3 lucky readers will get the opportunity to check it out as well.
Fill out the form below to be entered to win. 3 winners will get an ebook of Embrace.
1. In Embrace, a lot has happened and Madison is struggling with all the changes, can you tell us a little of what she is dealing with when we meet her character? We meet Madison in October. She’s a junior in high school, single for the first time since freshman year, and learning to accept the fact that one of her friends returned from summer break with an unfounded hatred toward her. Madison manages to keep her chin up though: staying in touch with her ex who now lives in another state, pretending she doesn’t hate her English class, being the woman of the house, and doing her best to avoid any more changes in her life. When Madison’s best friend tells her that her life’s about to change, Madison is less than thrilled to find out what’s next. 2. There seems to be a lot of mystery in this book. What are 3 words you would use to describe the story? Fast-paced thriller 3. Tell us a little about Issac.
Isaac’s the mysterious new guy who’s caught more than just Madison’s eye. He’s a senior, six-foot-some, brown hair, velvet brown eyes, and he’s a guy with a secret. It’s the things he doesn’t say out loud that have Madison questioning if he’s right for her. He’s a strong male who knows how to handle himself. Being brought up by parents who know exactly who he his has allowed him to sharpen his abilities. I don’t want to say much more or I’ll give away his secret, but I will say you don’t want to get on his bad side. 4. Embraceis your debut novel. What has been the most surprising part of being a debut author? I’m going to have to say just how many things have to be done to successfully launch a book. There are so many steps that a novel goes through from the time an author signs the contract to when the book is released and just as many people involved. It can be a bit overwhelming, but I had a wonderful editorial staff, an amazing marketing team that made sure nothing fell through the cracks, and the support of fellow authors to lean on for moral support and guidance. 5. I saw that you are working on a few new projects right now. Can you tell us a bit about them? I’d love to. I’m currently working on a sequel for Embrace. Madison and her friends will be back, facing new threats and new supernatural elements they’ll have to defeat. I recently finished writing a teen paranormal thriller about a brother and sister who have been Chosen by otherworldly beings to be unwilling participants in a celestial battle that threatens to tear their relationship apart by forcing them to fight on opposite sides. Having both heaven and hell watching their every move is bad enough, but it’s the lengths these siblings are willing to go to save the other that puts them in the greatest danger of all. And last but not least, my middle grade ghost story follows four friends as they search for ghosts, confront their fears, and find the inner-strength needed to face the unknown.
Embrace by Cherie Colyer Publisher: Omnific Publishing (December 20th, 2011) Reading Level: Young Adult Paperback: 222 pages Madison is familiar enough with change, and she hates everything about it. Change took her long-term boyfriend away from her. It caused one of her friends to suddenly hate her. It's responsible for the death of a local along with a host of other mysterious happenings. But when Madison meets a hot new guy, she thinks her luck is about to improve.Madison is instantly drawn to the handsome and intriguing Isaac Addington. She quickly realizes he's a guy harboring a secret, but she's willing to risk the unknown to be with him.Her world really spins out of control, however, when her best friend becomes delusional, seeing things that aren't there and desperately trying to escape their evil. When the doctors can't find the answers, Madison seeks her own.Nothing can prepare her for what she is about to discover.Dangerous, intoxicating, and darkly romantic, Embrace is a thriller that will leave you spellbound.
Prize:
3 winners will receive an ebook of Embrace by Cherie Colyer
Rules:
You must be at least 13 (or have permission) to enter.
Name and email must be provided.
Extra entries are possible and links must be provided.
Contest is International and ends February 18th.
Once contacted, the winner will have 48 hours to respond.
Destiny's Fire by Trisha Wolfe Omnific Publishing (January 10th, 2012) Paperback: 159 pages Reading Level: Young Adult Source: Author/Publisher Rating: 5 of 5 stars It’s the year 2040, and sixteen-year-old Dez Harkly is one of the last of her kind—part of a nearly extinct race of shape-shifters descended from guardians to the Egyptian pharaohs. Her home and her secret are threatened when the Council lowers the barrier, allowing the enemy race to enter the Shythe haven.
As the Narcolym airships approach, Dez and her friends rebel against their Council and secretly train for battle. Not only is Dez wary of war and her growing affection for her best friend Jace, but she fears the change her birthday will bring. When Dez’s newfound power rockets out of control, it’s a Narcolym who could change her fate… if she can trust him.
Dez’s guarded world crumbles when she discovers why the Narcos have really come to Haven Falls, and she's forced to choose between the race who raised her and the enemy she's feared her whole life. Review: I must say that I honestly didn't know what to expect when I started reading this book. I knew I loved Trisha's writing from what I read in her short story Unveiled, but this was my first time reading a steampunk novel. But as soon as I started reading, all my worries flew away. Destiny's Fire grabbed me on page 1. Literally, and if you've read the book, you know why! Immediately in the story we meet Dez and the triplets — Jace, Lana, and Nick. We learn about their world in 2040 where the Narcolym are coming to start mingling with the Shythe. No one really likes this idea, especially Jace. Dez and the triplets train for a battle they feel will be inevitable.
As I mentioned, steampunk is new to me and I thought I would be completely confused by the terms. I should have factored in Trisha's fabulousness. She made it exciting! She completely described this foreign world to me in a way that helped me truly visualize it. It all made sense!
Dez was incredible. She was such a strong character and she really cared about her friends. This is all tested when Reese, a Narcolym, pushes his way into the picture. Jace and Reese do not get along, at all! Due to all of this conflict, Jace finally stars showing his feelings for Dez and she tries to see what is stronger, her feelings for her best friend or her best friend's new enemy. Drama! Reese is more than he seems though, and he shows Dez a part of her past that she didn't know existed.
Jace or Reese, Jace or Reese. It's like picking cake or ice cream. Trisha created the type of love triangle I adore. I could see the pull for each guy and they both did have a downside. No one was perfect and between Jace's temper and Reese's secrets, I could see the conflict Dez had between them.
The plot and action Trisha created in this story was also an unexpected turn. There was a great back-story, a lot of manipulation, and a powerful Council that both races had to deal with. I felt like I was thrown headfirst into this intense battle and I loved every minute of it! Dealing with all the craziness really helped Dez grow as a person. It was as if she was 3 years older by the end of the book.
I was very satisfied with how everything wrapped up but I gotta have book 2 soon!! Who can resist reading more of a wonderful story with a sizzling romantic love triangle? Not me!
Destiny's Fire gave me a taste of something new and I'm hooked! I can't wait to read more from Trisha Wolfe and see where she takes these characters next.
Recommended: Paranormal/steampunk readers or anyone who wants a taste of steampunk. Also, anyone who just loves a lot of drama, action, and hotness.
I have a special treat for you all today. First, if you haven't read, or added, Destiny's Fire by Trisha Wolfe, do it! It is an outstanding book and one that was so different from anything I had read in the past. My review will be coming up later this week, but in the meantime, I would like to introduce you to a few of the characters from Destiny's Fire because today… they battle it out!
In this corner we have the loveable, best friend/ boy next door with a dangerously hot bod. But be careful ladies, he is fierce, and a bit naughty, behind those bright blue eyes. Let me hear the crowd cheer for JACE!
VS
And over here we have… "ouch", he's too hot to touch but you know you want to, red-eyed bad boy who is just simply scrumptious. Yeah, ladies, you know you want this. I give you, REESE!
Boys, lets have a clean battle here. We will be using words, not fists. And no fighting over me, seriously, I'll take you both. *wink*And now, the quote battle begins! Round one Jace: “I just knew you wanted to rip my clothes off.” Reese: “You shouldn’t come out to play until you have the power to party like a big girl.”
Round Two Jace: “You’re being the voice of reason?” He grabbed my hand. “Funny, coming from the girl who decked a Narco just last night.” Reese: “Come on,” Reese continued. “We were so rudely interrupted last night. But I have to admit, I liked that love tap.”
Round Three Jace: “So you like to dance, do you?” Jace snarled. “How about with me? Think you might find my love tap a little more convincing.” Reese: “It's instinct. I honestly wasn't going to hurt her.” Then his eyes burned fire red as he stared into Jace's. “But you and I will be a different story if you don't take your hands off me… right now.”
Round Four
Jace: “—I‟m not a hot chick that has to worry about some guy trying to get into my pants.” He looked me up and down. “Or my bustle.”
Reese: He ducked his head close to my ear. “You look amazing, by the way.” Brushing his hand across my back, he spread warmth over my bare skin.
Round Five
Jace: “I want you to know,” Jace said, looking down as his hands gripped the brass steering bar. “No matter what, I'll always be there for you.”
Reese: He lifted my face and stared into my eyes. “I promise. I'll find a way to protect you.”
Geez, did it get hot in here or is it just these boys? So, who do YOU think won the quote battle? Answer in the comments section and you get an extra entry to WIN the ebook!
Destiny's Fire by Trisha Wolfe Omnific Publishing (January 10th, 2012) Paperback: 159 pages Reading Level: Young Adult It’s the year 2040, and sixteen-year-old Dez Harkly is one of the last of her kind—part of a nearly extinct race of shape-shifters descended from guardians to the Egyptian pharaohs. Her home and her secret are threatened when the Council lowers the barrier, allowing the enemy race to enter the Shythe haven.
As the Narcolym airships approach, Dez and her friends rebel against their Council and secretly train for battle. Not only is Dez wary of war and her growing affection for her best friend Jace, but she fears the change her birthday will bring. When Dez’s newfound power rockets out of control, it’s a Narcolym who could change her fate… if she can trust him.
Dez’s guarded world crumbles when she discovers why the Narcos have really come to Haven Falls, and she's forced to choose between the race who raised her and the enemy she's feared her whole life.
Prize:
1 winner will receive an ebook of Destiny's Fire.
Rules:
You must be at least 13 to enter.
Name and email must be provided.
Extra entries are possible and links must be provided.
Contest is International and ends January 22nd.
Once contacted, the winner will have 48 hours to respond.
The form must be filled out to enter.
Website | Goodreads | Twitter | Facebook
Amazon | Barnes & Noble Be sure to check out the other tour stops in the linky below!
Today Debra Anastasia book Bittersweet Saraphim is released into the wild and we are celebrating with an extra special visit and giveaway. Check it out below.
“Jessica. I’ve seen you in action. I know you’ll be brave enough to help me. I’m looking for someone. She’s a complete nimrod and untrustworthy. I told her my story, spilled my evil soul to her and she wrote it all down. Now, because I gave her so much she’s stabbed me in the back. First, in Crushed Seraphim I thought she’d help me find love. Instead she put my Emma in danger. Her evil imagination has conjured up a horrible bastard that wants to hurt Emma. Will hurt Emma. During my reign as Satan I’ve romanced thousands of women. I also engineered some of the deadliest, inescapable traps Hell had ever seen. My angel Emma is now a victim of torture that I designed. I have to get to her.
Debra Anastasia won’t tell me crap about what happens.
“Live the journey!” she tells me.
I could just pop her head off her damn neck. Now, she thinks she can trust me to “promote” Bittersweet Seraphim. Jessica, you need to tell me where Debra is. I’ve seen you two on twitter going back and forth. “ ~Jack
Bittersweet Seraphim, the sequel to Crushed Seraphim, has been released from Hell.
Satan Jack invites you to come… and indulge yourself in his journey to save the angel he loves. After running Hell for over a thousand years, one foul-mouthed Seraph has changed his end game.
Even if it means destroying the universe, Jack refuses to give up on his woman. He didn’t know what love was until Emma’s skin pressed against his, the addiction to any of his other vices paling in comparison. Jack has never been a fearful man, but he gets it now. Fear comes when you have something to lose. Or someone.
Suffering is worst when you’re doing it alone. But Emma’s taking Hell like an angel—even though her languishing began with having her seraph wings torn from her back. Now her worst enemy lords his body and his evil desires over her while she tries desperately to remember the words to her favorite prayer.
As Devil, Jack used to have Hell and its women humming like well-oiled machines. Too bad he’s nowhere near the place now. Stuck on Earth as a human, he must work with a ragtag team of exiled minions and half-breeds to save the angel who’s become all that matters.
Rescuing a seraph is the plan, but breaking into Hell means letting evil things out. Once they collide, minions and angels converge in the battle of the ages: good versus evil. But which side is which? Will Jack destroy the world as he fights to save Emma, his true and timeless love, from a damnation he designed?
An action-packed sequel to Crushed Seraphim, this tale reveals—time and again—what happens when the heart’s deepest desires break free. With a story both sizzling and sensual, emotional and enigmatic, Debra Anastasia invites readers to join a battle with nothing less than love on the line.
My response to Jack-"Yes, Jack… I may know where she is but I'll never tell! However, I will give you a hint. If you ever see a woman screaming out random, somewhat delusional sayings in public, that may be Debra. She has a history of this and it could make her easier to find. But, never tell her I told you her secret…
Prize:
2 winners will receive ebook copies of Crushed Saraphim and Bittersweet Seraphim.
Rules:
You must be at least 13 to enter.
Name and email must be provided and counts as 1 entry.
Extra entries are possible and links must be provided.
Contest is International and ends December 5th.
Once contacted, the winner will have 48 hours to respond.
I think ghosts have given up on me. Scary things too. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen a fair number of horrifying things. I shop in Wal-Mart on Saturdays. I think I may be too stupid to scare.
Okay, I’m actually here today because I have a crush on Jessica. Isn’t she adorable? I picture her walking around in real life but as her AV. The voluptuous cartoon on her header up there? I picture her walking into Starbucks all animated like Roger Rabbit in our boring world.
Anyway, none of that’s scary. And I’m here to talk about scary. What are you afraid of? Spiders, vampires? Ghosts? I’m here to give you a new bone-chilling fear.
Me.
That’s right. This blonde-headed, minivan-driving nimrod is the scariest thing to hit the planet. I’m a freaking nightmare. The fact that anyone ever lets me interact with the world is a statement to how little we control in this life.
I know what you’re thinking, she’s not scarier than a zombie. Oh yes, yes I am. Here’s a good example of how I torture unsuspecting people:
Our porch is being built by a nice, sweet builder guy. Well, yesterday I cranked a few windows open and proceeded to sift through our nonsense. (Long story longer: Our house was demolished by a huge oak one year ago, we’re moving into the rebuild now. Hence I‘m sifting through things that were salvaged by other people from my buckling old house, this includes years worth of paperwork I had ignored.) I came upon my colonoscopy results from about ten years ago. To joke with my long-suffering husband I called out, “Hey! Do you wanna see the inside of my colon?”
He looked at me with his handsome face and his gaze slide just over my right shoulder. His eyes grew wide and he shook his head.
I get a sinking feeling. That’s right, I shouted this with my builder guy standing just behind me with the window open. Actually, he was physically closer to me than the man I was trying to torment.
What do you say to fix that? I mean, really? I slid down in my chair into a puddle on the floor. I still blush thinking about it.
Scary. Right?
If that was the only story I had we could all have a nice chuckle and move on. But no, that’s one of hundreds. I’ve plodded through this life with no sense and no filter for over 38 years. I’ve procreated. Now granted, the son takes after the husband (lucky you) but the daughter? She’s a carbon copy. Actually she might be worse. So proud of those kids.
Anyway, back to scary. If seeing the inside of my colon doesn’t give you night terrors, I’ve got more where that came from. A few years back a poor, unfortunate soul sat next to me at a soccer game. She decided to make small talk. With me. You can already tell how this encounter was circling the drain, right?
The lady began telling me about a fancy restaurant she used to work in. She went on and on claiming it was super fancy, leave-the-kids-home-and-get-dressed-up kind of fancy. I nodded and tried to make some noise out of my mouth to show that I was paying attention.
I said,"So it’s real Ritsy Titsy?"
My brain had stalled. I couldn’t believe I’d just made up a word like “Titsy” and tried to pass it off in an adult conversation. So of course this has sent me into a fit of inappropriate giggles that --to my horror—became an all-out crying laughter, while slapping my knees and fart heckling. I could hardly breathe at my own embarrassment. For Pete's sakes. It's bad enough I’d said it. No need for the spectacle of me dissolving in to hysterics.
The poor lady just waited me out with a polite smile.
I’m not sure what’s worse, that I say the wrong thing at the wrong time or that I find my own embarrassment so damn funny.
How about we end today with this bone chiller:
I was cashing a check at the bank. Well, we have two banks. One’s not fancy. One is fancy. I was at the ritzy titsy one. It has high, luxurious ceilings. The tellers are separated from the customers by a thick, bulletproof plastic. Well, I’m assuming it’s bullet proof. It has air holes for the tellers. So this combination of things always makes me talk louder. I can’t help it. I feel that the barrier between us can only be over come by my outdoor voice.
It was a crowded line, full of rushing holiday shoppers who were ready to lubricate their wallets with some cash. I stepped up to the teller that was waiting for me. She smiled. And then she started chit-chatting about the holidays.
She was what I call a soft-to-softer talker. Well, she’s the first one I’ve met, but if I meet another, that’s what I’ll call them.
She started out soft volume speaking, and when she would get to the real point of her sentence her volume would drop off.
Until she was, as much as I can tell, just moving her lips.
I can’t read lips. Let’s be honest, most of us are amazed I can read at all. So I did what any blonde would do --I overcompensated. I also tried to emulate the behavior I wanted her to copy. Hence me cheerleading scream answers.
Me: “YES, I’M GOING SHOPPING!!!”
Soft talk teller: ”Are you going to Target? ”
Me: ”YES!”
Soft talker: ”I got mumble mumble for $5.00 at Target mumble mumble.”
Now, I love Target. I love a good sale there. As a matter a fact, I watch the Christmas markdowns like a highly skilled guerilla surveillance team member.
So I don’t care what she got for $5.00. If it was on sale, I wanted it.
Now, maybe I can blame my exhaustion. Or my own inability to be social through a wall of plastic but I said in my loudest voice;
Me: ”MAYBE I’LL POOP IN THERE LATER!!”
Oh my dog. Did I just scream, “poop?” The Bank was as silent as a smoke detector without batteries that might have gotten disemboweled by an angry mother witnessing her kids heading to the dinning room table after it went off.
I realize I can’t fix my faux pas without making it worse.
I had to just leave the poop out there. I’d just told a complete stranger and a line full of people in a really loud voice where I *might * be planning on having a bowel movement in the future instead of what I had intended. (Me: “Maybe I'll POP in there later!")
So what do I do? Do I pretend like it wasn’t said? (Which I’m sure was soft talker's dire wish!)
Oh no, that would be too simple. I start to laugh. I start cry-laughing at my own self. I laugh all the way out of the bank. Like an idiot.
So, I think in this month of scary, zombie babies hanging from swings in people’s yards (Holy crap! What’s up with those horror movie quality decorations in the strip malls?) we need to remember that I, Debra Anastasia, am the scariest thing ever. Well, except for spiders, hands (they look like spiders), mannequins (they have hands that look like spiders), and not having your foot under the blankets at night.
Boo!
Author Bio: Debra Anastasia is busy, just like every other mom. There’s dinner, the dogs, the kids, and their homework. The laundry pile turns into a big, heaping monster. When the clothes finally make it into the washer, it gets unbalanced and puts on an elaborate show before it cuts out. This crazy job that never ends is her first love and her crowning achievement.
Her writing started a decent handful of years ago when along with the dogs, cat, kids, and husband, the voices of characters started whispering stories in Debra’s ear. Insomnia was the gateway for the plots that wouldn’t give up, wouldn’t let go. In the shower, a twist would take hold and–dripping and frenzied–she’d find somewhere, anywhere to write it down.
Debra grew up in New York and got a bachelor’s degree in political science at SUNY New Paltz. At the start of her marriage, she moved to southern Maryland with her husband. She still doesn’t trust crabs and all their legs, though everyone else in her family thinks they’re delicious. Her favorite hobbies include knitting, painting furniture and wall murals, and slapping clowns.
Bittersweet Seraphim, the sequel to her debut novel, Crushed Seraphim will be released Nov. 20th, 2012 and she’s currently working on Return to Poughkeepsie, the sequel to Poughkeepsie. You can visit her website at DebraAnastasia.com and find her on twitter @Debra_Anastasia.
Crushed Seraphim by Debra Anastasia Published: Omnific Publishing (May 27th, 2011) Reading Level: 17+ Paperback: 194 pages How does a foul-mouthed angel end up as the last hope for all of Heaven and Earth?
When Seraph Emma is maimed and tossed from Heaven by a rogue angel who's taken charge, she fears she'll never be allowed to return. Tasked with the impossible job of showing the self-loathing (and not even human!) Jason his worth, Emma is sure she's doomed to fail.
Meanwhile, having wormed his way into Heaven, the corrupt Everett has trapped God in Hell and has designs on unleashing evil everywhere. Fortunately, if there's one thing Emma can't do (in addition to minding her language), it's give up. Determined to save Jason and get back to Heaven-even if it means going to Hell-Emma's plan is simple yet impossible: trick the Devil to save God.
What she doesn't count on is the devotion and, well, humanity she finds in Jason; the spirit, hidden compassion, and raw sex appeal within the Devil; and the vulnerability of her own heart. With the help of two unlikely allies, she'll wage the battle for Heaven. But will Emma be sidetracked by a new sort of heaven along the way?
What's truly more dangerous?
Falling from Heaven, or falling in love?
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